Sunday, August 29, 2010

Tamara Lesley...One Liners

1. Open your heart to the oneness of God and to the profound abilities of the human mind.


2. Many Infectious Love Energies.


3. You are who you're friends are, look into the mirror to see who is looking back at you.


4. The totality of the God Source is you in perfection; for in life there is no death only a crossing over to the world from whence we came.


5. Choosing each action in life is a learning experience.


6. Good choices bring happiness and bad choices cause a lesson to be learned.


7. Tears shed over a problem in life is releasing the hurt so that you can move on.


8. Hope is a divine intervention that brings forth thoughts into reality.


9. SMILE : read each line written for each letter in the word SMILE
"Send Many Infectious Love Energies."

Susan Hunts One Liners

Number 1: "If I'm not crazy, then there is something wrong with me."


Number 2: My dogs think I need a helmet and a straight jacket; they need the cell phone and the remote control.

Number 3: "She has a few loose boards in her tree house, literally and figuratively.

Number 4: I don't hate people, they just think I do, with good reason.

Number 5: I wish I would quit falling off my roof, it's so embarrasing.

Number 6: I get so tickled when ghosts run from ME!

Number 7: People say my life is a lie; I wish I could agree.

Number 8: If I didn't stumble and fumble everywhere I go, no one would notice me.

Number 9: "God, I know you love me, but do you have to squeeze me so damm hard?"

Number 10: If I didn't have an old man named Pop's answering my late night phone calls, I'd be dialing Russia, probably....

My One-Liners

Hard work never killed anyone -
more than once!

Posted by John Tucker

Contest Video


Enter Your 5 One Liners On This BlogSpot
video

Sunday, August 22, 2010

I just don't know why

For some reason, nothing else would work for me, when looking at this picture....

I just don't know why

We had a fight,
And I don't know why.
And now you're gone.
And I don't Know why.

Sometimes I almost hate you.
And I don't know why.
But I still love you.
And I don't know why.

Your leaving still hurts me.
And I don't know why.
And I don't know why
Loving you still hurts me so.

I just don't know why.

Catnipped Kitty

Total writersblog, but I still wanted to give it a shot. Here's my take on the cat

A catnip-related incident occurred last night during a raid in a well-known club down town.
Sgt.Bowser of the K-9 Unit storming the club, said that one of the Cats apprehended suddenly "Totally freaked. Wasn't pretty. Prolly caught some bad 'nip and totally freaked. One a them declawed up-towners, more money than fur, y'know? They but 'Nip like others buy groceries. Da**Bleep** Nipheads!" Nobody knew or admitted to know the cat. Some patrons claimed he had been there the first time, while one of the catresses said he was a regular. One witness said that "I didn't know that someone declawed could still hurt someone."
Experts say, that declawed cats often have severe mental health problems due to the amputation and implore owners to reconsider. "Do not declaw your cat. If you want to protect your furniture, give the cat to someone else or do not get a pet in the first place, other than a fish. Declawing is inhumae and unneccesary cruel. And Euthanizing is not an acceptable Option, either.

Sgt. Bowser: "I totally agree with that. Cats n Dawgs don't always get along, but that indeed is cruel. I can understand them turning to the weed. Can't really blame them, considering. And that the "Nip is often stretched with other substances, doesn't help, either."

More on the problems caused by excessive Catnip consumption and the practice of declawing at eleven, right here on Kitty News Network.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The 'Skunk' that 'Stunk' by john tucker















I'm a 'Politician' - As you can tell;
When I'm around - There's a nasty 'Smell'.
Don't be misled - by my friendly smile.
Its a permanent fixture - to beguile.

Deals I've done - and there's a few;
Lined my pockets - but won't help you!
The only thing - I will pursue...
Is your vote for me - when the time is due.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Eye See YOU ! by john tucker


Eye See YOU !

Eye see you when you are awake.
Eye see you while you sleep!

Eye see the foolish things you do,
And that is why eye weep!

Eye am always watching over you.
Eye am the wise voice deep within.

Eye walk through life beside you
Eye suffer when you sin.

Eye am the deepest part of you,
Eye will forever be.

The friend, who will not leave you;
No matter what I see.



Pepé Le Pew by Rebecca Lovatt





I do not envy you
For there are few who love you

You are a skunk, oh what a sight
Your simple presence causes fright

Yet you hold your head high
Are you hiding an internal sigh?

Ever falling in love with the cat
Whose emotions you attempt to pick at

Thinking her to be a fellow skunk
Who won’t hate you for the times you stunk

She flees, not playing hard to get
Perhaps, it’d be better if you just forget?

There will be a time for you to have true love
Then, you’ll have something to be proud of

TROUBLED CAT by Rebecca Lovatt




I cannot find the words to write
They're in my head but take flight
When pen is put down on paper
It'll be as if they were vapor

The words are all in my head
They just don't want to be read
I think I'll need another drink
Perhaps it'll bring them from the brink

Bartender, won't you please help me?
Won't you set these words free?
They're giving me a headache
My mind may soon just break

Hurry up with that drink wont you please?
I think I'll smoke, I'm not here to appease
I'm guessing I seem kind of mad
In all honesty, I think I'm more then sad

TEARS by Rebecca Lovatt



These tears of mine, they will fall
Will you pretend to care at all?
Catch these tears, or let them drop
The choice is yours, think fast before they stop

Within these tears lay spectrum's of emotion
Falling forever with a single motion
They'll fall forever lest you catch them
Will you be the one to condemn?

Show your true devotion
For these tears may become an ocean
With a saddened, sweeping rhyme
Forever traveling through time

HELP AND SUPPORT FOR CONTEST

Monday, August 16, 2010

THIS IS A SAMPLE

LOVE PURSUED by Linda Rhodes

Awhhh Hello Moi Petite,
Tis Amore in the air, oui?
She blushes, such a timid flower,
Still my heart beats,
Only for my love…
Her face a beautiful picture,
I trace in my sleep,
A game she plays…
Hide and seek, my playful one,
Loving the chase, my lady,
As I shall pursue relentlessly,
Until your heart is mine…
Awhhh Me Amore, where are you?


REFLECTION by Linda Rhodes

Reflection…


Honest reflection upon a life…

The truth spills as tears,

From a lifetime of pain,

Suffering is measured again,

In a rainbow of prism light,

Bearing a soul contrite,

Shining through sorrow, hope,

From cherished words spoke…

Softly a remembered love warms,

A fragile existence seemed torn,

Choices throughout the years,

Sometimes made with haste in fear,

Weigh on our conscience this night,

Would we repeat a regretted plight,

If in darkness we were given light.

Open hands once held us …

Unite our prayers in trust,

Gifting peace and knowledge…

To whom shall listen and learn,

An endless night shall forever turn,

If we do not wake with the dawn.

Dreams fulfilled shall comfort regret,

While hope beckons hold on,

Our story not finished yet.

Reminding us to be content,

A lifetime isn’t so long…

In the end our moments few,

A beating heart stills…

And frees a soul born anew…

LUCKY CAT by Linda Rhodes



Lucky Cat


“So as I was saying, what a day Mac.”
“Need a refill, Alley?” The bartender asked politely. Alley Cat nodded flicking his ash sighing a resounding purr.
“I was chased by that bull dog on fifth street again, got drenched from a water hose, while I was trying to find some breakfast. You know the place that nice new house, they have amazing garbage scraps. Can you believe it though, who waters the lawn at seven AM? Then I almost got splattered underneath the garbage truck, I just tucked up small and it rode right over me geez what a day.” The bartender slid the refill across the bar to Alley who tipped the aromatic cat nip, enjoying every drop of the soothing liquid.
“Well I’ll tell ya Alley, you need to settle down. You are using up lives right and left lately, I tell ya one of these days you’ll meet your maker.” The friendly bartender warned, with Alley hissing while he downed his nip shaking his head while he licked his paw.
“No worries Mac, I’m indestructible… I can’t picture me ever settling down. Nope that fancy plush life aint for me.”
“Whatever ya say Alley… but everyone has their weakness, no one stays a stray forever not even you.”
“Yeah yeah, give me one more then I’m done, I need to hit Papa Joe’s Pizza Shop before he closes, he always tosses out the uneaten crusts,” Alley meowed drinking up his final shot of cat nip, before prancing out of the Cat’s Meow Club.
Mac the bartender washed Alley’s glass, and cleaned the ash tray sighing deeply, he knew Alley would indeed use up his last life if one day he didn’t change. No more did he think that, when outside there was a terrible screeching sound, and lots of commotion. Most of the patrons rushed outside to witness what had happen. It wasn’t pretty, it appeared Alley tried to beat a car across the four lane, and he didn’t make it.
Laying motionless on the cold asphalt it looked like he had indeed spent his ninth and final life. A little girl was kneeling beside him in a moment crying beside her father, whom was checking Alley out. Mac witnessed the man scoop Alley off the pavement, seeing Alley’s tail swaying slightly, “I’ll be damned, he’s still alive, what a lucky cat.”
It was few months later when Mac bumped into Alley on the street. It took Mac a moment to realize that fluffy ball of fur with the sheik blue color was indeed the once wild and crazy Alley Cat who drank regularly at his pub. “Alley? Is it really you?”
“Shhhh yeah it’s me, I know I look ridiculous, but well since the accident I’ve had to change my lifestyle ya know. I broke both my legs, can’t run too well anymore. The little girl takes good care of me, and I never go hungry, so I guess you were right, everyone has to change.”
“Yeah I guess, but I would never guess you’d every be content like this,” Mac replied shaking his head.
“Well we aint getting younger, and well it doesn’t take too long to get used to being looked after. They don’t expect much from me, and my little girl loves to pet me,” Alley shrugged but had to go his little girl was calling him.
“See ya Mac, hope you find someone to take you in one day, it’s not so bad,” Alley shouted as he bounded into the little girls arms.
“Hey Lucky ready to go home, I got you something yummy for supper,” Mac overheard the little girl say as she put Alley in the back of her car, before they drove off.
“Well like I said, Alley has always been a Lucky Cat.”
THE END

'Ghost' Cat! by John Tucker

I used up my nine lives real fast !
I come here for a fag and a laugh;
For this was my 'local' you know
About a couple of centuries ago.


Its amazing how time rushes so.....
As I stand here - unheard and unseen;
No one's even aware that I've been!
And my glass sits there, empty all night.


God knows, I could kill, for a pint !!!!


GREAT EXPECTATIONS by John Tucker

I'm on my way
To a heavy date.
I've got fire in my belly
And I can't be late !

I'm all spruced up,
As you can tell;
By my washed, combed hair,
And turned off smell.

I'm gonna 'Wine and Dine' her.
Get her back to my place.
Then a few drinks later...
I'll play my 'Ace'



DO NOT CRY FOR ME by John Tucker

All seeing eye
That softly seeps....
What can it be
That makes you weep ?....

Do you cry for all 'Humanity' ?
I beg you - Do not cry for me !
Can you not see, that tears dry fast;
In strong, soft hands - so gently clasped.


All will be well - eventually.
I beg you - Do not cry for me !

Sunday, August 15, 2010

'Tears of Joy'

9
Tears of loving joy spill from my eyes one drop at a time
as I begin to happily cry.
My Love has asked me to marry him and with
joyous laughter I say, "Yes!" to him.
Tonight I feel love and light as it surrounds me,
and I feel blessed by my Angels while tears of joy
spill into my caressing hands.

Written by: Tamara Lesley

'DEXTER'S Bad Day'


DEXTER here sitting in a rotten Dive,
smoking a Winston waiting for the slob
of a Bartender to arrive.
"Bring me a Red Eye on the rocks.
Today has been as bad as a bag of dirty socks."

"First of all old Tom Cat carouses for a
fight, then my Wife doesn't come home all
frickin' night.
I am hunkering down for a fight with the dirty
Feline that knocked up my Wife."

The ugly Dude sitting next to me gave me a stare
as I glared back at him I growled, "I am a mean 'Son
of a Gun' you don't want to mess with me or this Dive
will hear you Catterwal throughout the night.

Written by: Tamara Lesley

Pepe Le Pew, on my third try:

‘Allo, Cherie!
Je’taime, you see?
You are the only one for me!
I am adorable!
And Frrrrench!
Look past the stench….
(ah, of my perfume, naturellement, I ‘ave broken de bottle, silly me…)
Mais non! I am not a Stinkeur!!
But a lover am I and I zink…..
I told you, I ‘ad a Malheur!
Non! I do not stink!!
Cordon Bleu! I ‘ave never seen…..
Cherie, are you ill?
Such a shade of green…..
(EW! That’s …gross!)
Sil’ vous plait! Don’t yell!
Don’t interrupt, Monsieur!
I am busy with cherie Mademoiselle….
What? I do not need a Docteur!
Oh…….
Well, then….
‘Allo Cherie!
Je’taime, you see?
I know you ‘ave been waiting just for me…..

Sorry bout that :D

Peppy Le' Pew



Hi there, I am little black Peppy Le' Pew!
Come a little closer so that I can meet you.
I'll just turn around with my butt to you, so
you can see my white stripe running through.
I'll stamp my little feet and do a little dance
just to humor you.
I'll flip up my tail and blow a little juice
right at you so that you can smell my delightful perfume.
I promise that you will never forget me after
you turn blue, don't worry I'll be smiling just
at you.
You'll find yourself running for water after
I am through.
That's right, because my name is Peppy Le' Pew.


Written by: Tamara Lesley

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Peppie Le Pew!

Ew! Ew! Peppie Le Pew!
Leave my yard!
I'm all out of shampoo!


{~Swan Songs Scripts~}

Thursday, August 12, 2010

SAMPLE

SET EM UP BARTENDER AND KEEP EM COMING, I CAUGHT MA MA CAT, CATTING AROUND WITH A STRAY CAT IN TOWN...
My tear drops in my hands
For the poor and needy
In the promised lands.

HOWDY FOLKS, I'M A HAPPY SKUNK
WHO WANTS TO HELP
SOME POOR DRUNK
______________________________________
This is just a sample you can write as much or as little as you like.